Be Kind to Yourself
Humans are emotional beings.
This is a fact. Emotions are involved in every single aspect of our lives, whether we choose to believe this or not. Just as we have basic needs such as food, water, and sleep; we have emotional needs as well.
I am no stranger to the weight in my chest when I am feeling overwhelmed, the burning, choking ball in my throat when I’m feeling angry or the hot blood pounding in my cheeks when I’m feeling embarrassed or flustered. Likewise, I know the feeling of being light-headed and giddy when I laugh so hard my jaws hurt, how my heart smiles when I witness something sweet, and the tingle and flutter of flattery.
My point is, we are very self-conscious by nature – not to be confused with being self-centered – and that’s okay!
No one should ever be shamed or admonished for how they are feeling. Here are five ways you can build your confidence and express yourself.
1. Speak Your Truth
You are your own best advocate. I sympathize with those who were never really outspoken or the loudest one in the room. I never was. But it doesn’t matter if your voice shakes and you don’t need to be the loudest to say what you want. You should never feel as if you have to shout above the room to speak out. The first step is owning that feeling that’s making you uncomfortable with a situation. Express that feeling and communicate what you want. Remember the saying that no one knows what you are feeling, or what you really want until you let them know. Let them know. If you are still feeling hesitant, start with someone you trust.
2. Set Boundaries
From an ignorant stance, the notion of setting boundaries for those around you may seem obsessive, controlling, and unstable. In truth, it is one of the most mindful and stabilizing favors you can offer yourself. We already set boundaries for ourselves daily, whether we realize it or not. Think about it. You are the only person stopping yourself from finishing that cake in the refrigerator in one go. Similarly, you can offer your advice to someone, but it is not your responsibility to make them take it. Define strong consistent boundaries so that others know what you expect of them. If you don’t feel comfortable discussing a certain topic or being spoken to in a certain manner, set your boundaries. Say NO without guilt.
3. Build Healthy Relationships
It is just as important that the people around you are advocates for your emotional well-being. You need people that are positive and supportive, respectful of your privacy and boundaries, and have a sense of perspective – you are not over-reacting. You should feel comfortable in expressing your self without feeling as if you are bothering, or even boring them. You should be able to maintain a conversation and have a listening ear. No one should make you feel less of yourself or that your feelings are invalid in some way. Consistent effort to make your conversations a safe space is a must. This goes for your significant other, family, friends, co-workers, etc.
4. Embrace Yourself
If you want to take this in the literal sense, go ahead. Give yourself a hug! Support every win and appreciate every loss. Nurture the person you are today while taking notes from the person you were. You’ve come a long way, and my! you have a long way to go. Start your morning by boosting your self-esteem with affirmations daily, and never hesitate to reassure yourself as such throughout the day. Be advised of your strengths and weaknesses and learn to ask for help when you need it. You should be your biggest supporter. This is how you grow. Find love in yourself and demand the same from those around you. How you treat and regard yourself communicates how you want to be treated, loved, and respected. You are enough in every way possible. No one, not even you, should speak ill about you. Remember, forgive yourself first, and protect your best interests. Self-care isn’t selfish. Don’t overthink it.
5. Care for Your Health
Though the prospect of physical health is very important, there are many other contributors that are as equally important to overall health. Drinking eight glasses of water per day, getting enough sleep at night, and staying active help to keep you physically well. Likewise, find comfort in activities such as slowing down, meditation, and journaling in an effort to collect and organize your thoughts and feelings. I have adopted the habit of pausing and taking three deep, stabilizing breaths when I begin to feel overwhelmed. Just as we are to nourish our bodies with wholesome foods, should we not also be conscientious of what we allow to nurture and mold our minds and how we choose to react to daily obstacles?
