How to Finally Address Your Anger

If you’re like most people, your anger comes and goes. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t. When anger is a part of your life on a regular basis, however, it can be tough to manage — especially if it’s frequent or intense. So what causes anger? While there are many possible triggers for feelings of rage, some are more common than others. Let’s take a look at some common reasons why we get angry:

Anger is a normal human emotion. It’s also a response to something that’s unfair, disrespectful, or dangerous. But anger isn’t always healthy or helpful—it can lead to aggression, violence, and even crime (if you ever need more proof that anger is not the best way to solve problems, just Google “anger management classes in prison”).

Here are some signs of unhealthy anger:

You get irritated easily by small things like traffic jams or waiting in line at the grocery store
You get mad when someone disagrees with your opinions or points of view
You have trouble controlling your temper when someone says something mean about you

What was the trigger?

The trigger is what set off your anger in the first place. The trigger can be something that’s happened lately: perhaps you had a run-in with someone at work who was rude to you, or maybe someone cut in front of you while driving on the highway. Maybe it was something that happened long ago: such as an event in childhood, or an argument with a friend or family member when you were younger.

The important thing to remember about triggers is that they’re not always obvious; sometimes our response to them isn’t either! You may have no idea why something has caused your anger until after it happens. And even then, it might take some reflection before everything clicks into place and makes sense to your conscious mind.

Were you hurt or frustrated by something?

There are times when you get angry for no reason, but most of the time it’s an indication that something has upset you. It could be a situation that was unfair and unjust, or someone said or did something that hurt your feelings. If this was the case and you were hurt by someone else, then talk to them about what happened and try to resolve it. If they don’t have time to listen or they refuse to talk about it, then keep your cool until they do give in and make things right.

Can you think of any other underlying emotions that might be fueling your anger?

It’s important to remember that anger is not the only emotion. Anger can be a cover for other emotions like sadness, fear, or anxiety. Anger can also be a cover for other emotions like jealousy, guilt, or shame.

And if you’ve been dealing with anger issues for some time now, it might help to know that there are plenty of resources available to you. You can call 1-800-799-7233 (the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) or visit their website here: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Can you think of a time when you felt like this before?

There are times in our lives when we feel angry or upset, but for some reason we don’t understand why. If you’ve ever had this experience, try to think back to when it happened. What were the circumstances? What was happening then that is similar now? For example, if your brother was borrowing your toys without asking and never returning them until he needed them again, this may be similar to what’s happening with your friends at school now.

You’ll probably discover that there is actually a pattern emerging here – one where someone else takes advantage of you by doing something wrong or mean. It’s important to remember these times because they can help explain why people act the way they do towards others and how those actions make them feel about themselves (particularly when no one cares enough about that person).

Are you angry because someone else upset you, or left you out, or treated you unfairly, or lied to you?

If the answer is yes and no, then which of these things have happened?

When we feel sad or hurt by others and most especially by those closest to us, anger is a normal reaction. It’s a sign that something has gone wrong in our relationships. The more we love someone and care about them the more hurt we will feel when they disappoint us or don’t treat us well.

Is it possible that an unmet need is causing your anger?

You may have noticed that you feel angry when you don’t get what you need. For example, if your spouse is late for dinner again, and it makes you miss a show on TV, then this is an unmet need (i.e., something that you wanted but didn’t receive).

When someone threatens the things we care about or expect from them, our brains are wired to send us into fight-or-flight mode so that we can protect ourselves. This reaction can lead to anger—and, again, it’s important to note that not all anger is bad! Anger signals that something isn’t right in our relationships, but also how deeply connected we are to those relationships.

Here are some more questions to ask yourself

Do you often feel this way at a certain time of day or on a certain day of the week?
Is there a specific person, place, or thing that triggers your anger?
Are you feeling frustrated about something in particular?
Are you thinking about someone who has hurt you in some way and feeling angry about it?

Do you often feel this way in a certain place or around certain people?

Did you know that anger can be triggered by a specific person or place? It’s true! For example, maybe your mother is always criticizing you and it makes you angry. Or maybe your boss at work yells at everyone, but he seems to pick on you more than anyone else. Maybe there’s a certain area of the city where people are rude to each other and drive like maniacs all the time, which makes it hard for everyone else who lives there to enjoy their lives without feeling scared all the time.

In fact, any one of these things might be enough to set off an explosion of rage: A friend who always doesn’t show up when they say they will; A car that cuts off yours as if it were nothing but air; A cat that scratches too much or tries to bite when he play fights with his siblings or friends…the list goes on!

Your anger is normal.

Anger is a normal human emotion. It’s part of our experience as human beings and can be a healthy response to certain situations. Anger arises in response to triggers like feeling threatened, frustrated, or ignored by someone else—and it can be expressed in many ways: through yelling or screaming, throwing things around the room, punching a wall or punching someone who makes you angry (or just being mean)… or simply crying, self-isolation or sarcastic/snarky responses in conversation.

But what if anger isn’t healthy? What if it’s out of control? Then it might be time to learn how to regulate your emotions so that they don’t take over your life any longer than they have to

The Takeaway

So how do we know if our anger is justified? The first step is to ask yourself these questions:

Is this situation really making me angry, or am I just reacting to my own anxiety or sadness?

What was the trigger for my anger?

Is there anything else that’s going on in my life right now that might contribute to feelings of frustration?

What other emotions might be fueling my anger?

If you can answer these questions with clarity and honesty then you will likely have found the root cause of your anger. But even if it seems like there isn’t any logical reason why someone would feel so strongly about something so seemingly inconsequential (like a small argument), remember that everyone has different triggers and different ways of coping with stress—and that’s okay! As long as we all keep talking openly about what makes us mad, hopefully one day people will stop finding fault with each other’s angry outbursts so much because they’ll understand where they come from better than ever before.