Did You Abandon Yourself?

I’m gonna be real with you. You are lost.

Here’s the truth: you have no idea who you really are and what your life is really about. And it’s not just me saying that, it’s everyone around you, too.

So why can’t you figure out who you are? Or at least why does it feel so hard to do so? Well, I’ll tell you why: because at some point in your life, something terrible happened and there was nothing that could be done about it. The consequences of this trauma were so great that they trapped an essential part of your being in a dark place where they abandoned themselves and took refuge from the pain.

This is what led to the lack of self-awareness and inability to focus on yourself that we see today. It also explains why everything feels pointless – because when we become adults we realize how little control over our lives has actually been given to us by society (and parents). We’re expected to fit into these very rigid boxes but then find ourselves facing various obstacles in order for us to achieve these goals – like getting married/having kids before 30 or finding “the one” while still studying/working full-time jobs etcetera which makes meeting people exponentially more difficult! So if all seems hopeless…why bother trying at all?!

The solution involves identifying what happened during those formative years and then working towards healing those wounds through therapy or any other means necessary because doing nothing about them will only lead to more suffering down the road 🙁

Maybe you abandoned yourself because the demands of everyday life were so heavy.

First, I want you to understand that this is a common feeling. Many of us put others before ourselves because we think it’s the right thing to do. We don’t stop to ask whether or not we’re doing it because we want to and not because it’s expected of us.

If you find yourself in this situation—and many people do—you may have even started questioning yourself as a person or asking if you’re good enough for other people. But here’s what I want you to realize: You are enough! You deserve care and attention just as much as anyone else does! The only person who can give that care and attention is YOU!

Maybe you abandoned yourself to avoid being seen and rejected.

You may have abandoned yourself to avoid being seen and rejected. You’re probably familiar with the importance of self-acceptance, but you may not know how to put yourself first in order to practice it consistently. You do have the ability to say no when others ask you for favors or time that would take you away from your priorities, so start there—and then keep going. It can be difficult at first, but when you begin saying no on a regular basis, your confidence will grow and so will your ability to manage your schedule more efficiently and effectively.

Maybe you abandoned yourself because you didn’t know how to value and nurture yourself.

You may not have had the best role models when it came to caring for yourself. If your parents were selfish, you might have gotten the impression that taking care of yourself was a selfish act. If they taught you that you shouldn’t expect too much from others, or if they prioritized other people’s needs above yours, then perhaps you don’t feel like your needs matter as much as those of others.

It can be easy to get caught up in taking care of others before taking care of yourself because it feels good to help someone else and because giving is often easier than receiving (especially when we’re talking about emotional support). But there’s nothing inherently wrong with taking care of yourself first—it doesn’t make you selfish; it makes sense!

Maybe you abandoned yourself in order to make the best possible impression on others.

In the process of trying to make the best impression on others, you may have given up part or all of yourself. You may be so focused on what other people think of you that you find it difficult to be yourself. This can happen in any situation where there is a need to please others, such as:

• When a job interview goes well and you wonder how much of your personality was allowed to come through during the process
• When an attractive stranger approaches at a party and asks for your number
• When someone makes a comment about your behavior or appearance, whether good or bad

Maybe you abandoned yourself because taking care of yourself felt too selfish or self-indulgent.

If you abandoned yourself, it’s possible that taking care of yourself felt too selfish or self-indulgent. We all know that healthy self-care is important—but we also know it can be hard to prioritize when we are overwhelmed by other responsibilities and tasks.

Maybe your family told you not to worry about yourself because there were more important things in life. Maybe someone else made you feel guilty for spending time on yourself, even if it was only an hour a day at the gym or half an hour meditating each morning before work.

This is a powerful way that self-abandonment can sneak into our lives: because we have been taught by society or our loved ones that caring for ourselves is wrong and bad, so we do everything we can never let down our guard long enough to allow ourselves to relax.

Maybe you abandoned yourself to avoid feelings of guilt and shame and inadequacy.

You may have abandoned yourself in order to avoid feelings of guilt and shame. Guilt and shame are part of being self-aware, but they can also be a source of suffering if you don’t know how to deal with them.

They’re natural human emotions that come when we realize that we’ve done something wrong or hurt others, as well as when we feel inadequate compared to others (or even just feel like we’re not good enough for ourselves). It’s important to understand that these feelings aren’t inherently bad—they exist for a reason: because they ensure that we learn from our mistakes, stay true to our values, and take care of ourselves.

Maybe you abandoned yourself as a way of protesting an unsatisfying or emotionally barren upbringing or relationship.

Maybe you abandoned yourself as a way of protesting an unsatisfying or emotionally barren upbringing or relationship. Maybe your parents abandoned you, and now you are repeating this pattern. Maybe the abandonment was not so obvious—a lack of attentive attention, love, affectionate touch, or emotional support.

Regardless of how it happened, when people feel that their emotional needs are not being met by others in their lives, they start to withdraw from them as well. This can be quite subtle; for example: “I’m just too busy right now to talk about my feelings with anyone!” Or more obvious: “I was angry about something at work and now I won’t even talk to my partner about it because he gets upset when I am angry with him.”

The result is that we become so accustomed to letting ourselves down that eventually it becomes our default mode of behavior whenever we find ourselves in situations where our needs are not being met by others (i.e., most situations). We become locked into a state where self-neglect becomes normal for us which means that we do not feel worthy enough nor do we believe there is anything better out there than what currently exists (i.e., no change).

Maybe you abandoned yourself because it felt like too much work, and so much easier to just go along with what other people needed.

Maybe you abandoned yourself because it felt like too much work, and so much easier to just go along with what other people needed. This is a common experience for many people. They learn (sometimes from early childhood) that their own needs must come after everyone else’s needs, or that they should be able to do everything—cooking, cleaning, taking care of children—with great skill and love while still being kind and generous toward others as well.

From this place of self-neglect comes all kinds of bad choices: “I’m not going to take care of myself because I don’t deserve it.” Or, “Everyone else takes care of me so why bother?” Or even the more subtle idea that if someone is going through something terrible in life then we should feel responsible for helping them out by giving up everything we want out of our own lives so that theirs may be better off than ours has been thus far. The truth is: none of these thoughts are true!

Maybe you abandoned yourself as a way of managing your anger toward the people who had let you down (or ignored or dismissed or mistreated you).

When you abandoned yourself, you may have been trying to manage anger. Anger can be an extremely hard emotion to deal with because it’s often a secondary emotion—a response to other emotions, like sadness, guilt, or shame. But anger is also a primary emotion that deserves attention and expression.

It’s normal for people to feel angry when they’ve been hurt by someone else, but it isn’t always easy for us as adults to express this anger in healthy ways. Many of us learned early on that expressing our feelings was dangerous: if we got angry at our parents or teachers or neighbors (or maybe even just a sibling), we could get punished for doing so and learn quickly not only how to suppress those feelings but also how not to express them ever again—at least where anyone could see!

We might have become habituated into thinking that the only safe way of handling anger was self-aggression such as being mean or cutting ourselves off from others entirely; these kinds of behaviors are harmful both emotionally and physically and can lead us down unhealthy paths if not addressed directly with professional help (which is why I wrote this article).

You may have put yourself aside, but now it’s time to start taking better care of yourself!

You can start today. You can start small. A few minutes a day is all it takes to make a difference in your life and the lives of those around you.

You can start by making an honest promise to yourself that you will commit to taking better care of yourself.

You can start by asking for help when needed, rather than trying to do everything alone.

You can also forgive yourself, and others, for mistakes made in the past that may have led up to this moment where you feel like there’s nowhere left to turn or run away from what’s happening inside your head (or heart).

So listen up, because I’ve got something to tell you: You are worthy. You are loved. You are enough, just as you are. And this is only the beginning of your story: the start of your new life, full of joy and happiness and peace. So if you’re reading this right now, I just want to thank you for being here with me on this journey—and for letting me share a little bit about my own struggle with abandonment issues.